15 Square has seen hundreds of men significantly affected by mental health issues and struggling with their sexual well-being.
The nature of these subjects makes them difficult to talk about and occasionally stigmatised. This story is a reminder of the importance of mental health support and open discussion. It is also a painful reminder of how the long term consequences of circumcision can affect men.
Introducing Alex’s Story
In 2017 Alex Hardy, a 23 year old British man made the painful decision to take his own life. Alex was known for being kind, intelligent, and for bringing joy to others. After his passing, his high school created an annual reward for creative writing, one of the areas that Alex excelled. His caring nature came through in the letter that he left behind. Despite his own struggles, he left detailed information and a message to help others avoid these issues.
He didn’t want anyone else to suffer.
Alex had spent the last years of his life struggling with complications from a medical circumcision received for foreskin tightness. In his final words he wrote about abrasion, desensitivity during intimacy, hypersensitivity in day to day life, and constant pain and itching sensations (akin to the symptoms of phantom limb syndrome).
Our Ambassador Lesley Roberts
15 Square are proud to have the support and contribution of Lesley Roberts, our fantastic Ambassador and Alex’s loving mother. It was only after he took his own life that she received the letter that was left behind. Alex was never open about his problems whilst he was alive, however, after the news of his passing Lesley first learned about the surgery he had undergone and his subsequent struggle. According to Alex’s final words, he was vehement that nothing else had caused him this grief.
Explicitly, the only impact on Alex’s decision was the circumcision 2 years earlier. He didn’t want to leave his family in pain, but didn’t feel as though he could continue and it was clear that he did not want anyone else to struggle with the issues that had affected him. In his letter, he had a final wish that he hoped his mother would fulfil; please help to warn others. Circumcision can affect people deeply.
This month, Lesley has fulfilled Alex’s wish by writing a book with the details of the experiences that he left behind and how his decision has affected his close family.
It is titled A Is For Alex.
Lesley’s shares her grief, but also the happy memories spent with Alex and gives a heartfelt delivery of his final message. In 2019 the BBC covered Alex’s story, and although some years have passed, the emotional difficulties have not. It is our hope that this story is heard by more people to bring recognition to the men who have been silenced by culture and outdated medical assumptions.
The honest account left behind by Alex is presented in the book. It leaves no question about the impacts that circumcision, depression and suicide can have on the families and individuals involved.
No one should walk down Alex’s path, and we hope this book will help others who are struggling to speak out before it is too late. The 15 Square team know of many men who have been in Alex’s situation, and we always take the issue seriously. If you have been affected yourself, don’t hesitate to contact us at 15 Square.
You can find Lesley’s book here. We encourage you to share this important message.