For years 15 Square have encouraged others to tell their story and to help debunk the myth that circumcision does not negatively affect some men.
Content note: This discussion includes experiences of psychological trauma, mental health crisis and suicide.
Whilst this fact is seldom acknowledged by the supporters of the practice and the general public, (through unintentional ignorance or intentional disregard), the voices of the men who are not happy with circumcision is starting to gain traction as more and more people go public.
Recently 15 Square recorded an interview with David Smith, our Chief Officer. David has dedicated over 30 years of his life to 15 Square and the tide is slowly turning. In the early days of his work, professionals would not discuss the issue, and the topic was still a taboo – as was questioning well established cultural practices. As time has passed however, the ethical consistency of our arguments speaks for itself. Consent, trauma, and equal treatment are more readily discussed today than back in the early 1990’s, and David has witnessed the change over the years.
In this interview, David talks about his personal experience of circumcision, which has motivated him over the last 30 years. He shares some insights that he has learned through working at 15 Square and hopes that this open discussion will encourage others on their path to speak out about the impacts of this procedure.
Interviewing David is Leeanne Morris MsC. Psychology. Author of ‘Exploring the relationship between medically unnecessary childhood penile circumcision and adult mental health.’
Through her experience in research and discussions with men affected by circumcision trauma and disenfranchised grief, she too has recognised the challenges that face men who try to speak out about circumcision. Despite these challenges, David has insight to share on the importance of opening up on the topic of circumcision and trauma.
“By not speaking out, you still have that burden inside you… It doesn’t go away.”
If you are interested in David’s story then you can watch the interview here.
Filmed and produced by Richard Duncker from Men Do Complain
“I always thought I had been born that way”
We hope this encourages others to tell their story, and that those interested in learning more about circumcision will find this interview valuable. David is not the first to speak out, however he has had the experience of running 15 Square too. Not only is he an expert through his own personal accounts of dealing with institutions and tackling issues associated with circumcision, but also, David has dealt with thousands of enquiries from those seeking help at 15 Square. The content of this conversation should be understood by the medical profession in order to appreciate the depth of the psychological impacts, and the institutional failures that some men have been exposed to.
“The enquiries just astound me. People from all walks of life with different situations… It made me realise the awkward situation that people face when they are forced to make these decisions that they really don’t want when there is no support”
The emphasis that David makes during this interview is that men who feel affected need to find those who are sympathetic and understanding – and that this support and acknowledgement can be an important part of the healing.
“Individuals find it hard to open up because they are too close… Sharing it with a partner is difficult”
Despite this: “Be open. When people want to open a conversation, the person they speak to might need time to process this. Open the dialogue then judge by their reaction. If they back off, back off too then re-address later. Those that go in brash can encounter conflict.”
David’s personal reaction to childhood circumcision is important for any parents considering this procedure for their child. The rift caused between parents and their sons is a very common theme, and one of the very tragic later life outcomes that David also experienced. If you have find the interview valuable, we encourage you all to share this video with others. Our hope for those listening to this interview is that they will feel more confident, less embarrassed, more empowered… don’t hold back!
Grief that isn't always recognised
Leeanne discusses the concept of disenfranchised grief, where someone’s grief is not openly acknowledged, socially recognised or given the same legitimacy as other forms of loss.
For people experiencing distress connected to circumcision, this lack of recognition can compound the original experience.
Some have never spoken about it. Others have tried to speak and been dismissed. Some have encountered therapists or healthcare professionals who struggle to accept that circumcision itself may be the issue they are seeking help with.
This is one of many reasons 15 Square believes greater trauma awareness among professionals is essential.
Alex Hardy and the consequences of silence
The conversation also turns to Alex Hardy.
Alex was 21 when he sought medical help for phimosis and underwent circumcision. David discusses the impact the procedure had on Alex and the fact that Alex later took his own life.
His mother, Lesley Roberts, who is now a patron of 15 Square, subsequently told his story in her book A for Alex.
David also reflects on Alex’s younger brother, who had experienced the same condition but addressed it through stretching techniques. He later spoke about wishing the brothers had talked about what they were experiencing.
Alex’s story raises difficult questions about communication, treatment options, informed decision-making and what happens when men feel unable to talk about intimate problems.
It is also a reminder of why conversations about mental health and circumcision need to be taken seriously.
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