Men have always been talking about circumcision harm
The founding members of 15 Square met in 1994. It was in response to an advertisement in a newspaper asking if anyone else had been psychologically affected by a traumatic reaction to having been circumcised.
The first meeting had a total of 19 men, all unknown to each other. What became clear in that meeting is that each issue was not an isolated incident, they all had experienced circumcision harm.
The other notable feature similar in each of their stories was that not one of them had ever spoken about their issues to anyone else. Feelings of resentment, anger, inadequacy and regret are common themes amongst circumcised men.
These feelings are sometimes targeted against medical institutions, individual doctors and often to parents too. This can make it incredibly conflicting and difficult to talk about these issues with those closest to us.
It has taken a long time for people to listen
Historically male issues and mental health have been paid scant attention. Luckily this is less true nowadays. This is still a very difficult topic for men to approach, which makes the following video even more impactful.
Carter Steinhoff recently sat down with filmmaker Brendon Marotta, in the interview with both Carter and his mother they discussed the topic of his circumcision and the physical and psychological damage that has been caused.
This deeply personal and vital conversation on circumcision harm is very important.
We hope this episode will be helpful for parents, and for any men who are still struggling with difficulties with unresolved issues with their families, the strategic way that Carter has addressed this issue with his mother is so important for others who want to begin understanding and addressing their own circumcision harm.
Addressing Circumcision Harm
Men have different ways of facing their issues. One is to bury the feelings.
To preserve personal relationships and to avoid exposing deeply personal parts of our lives with others, many men go their entire lives without addressing these feelings.
Naturally, this does nothing to resolve the issues but instead creates a safe status quo.
Addressing the issue often comes after having buried feelings of resentment for a prolonged period, and the first reaction of most parents who are approached is to deny wrongdoing and harm.
This can then cause a deeper rift and risk separating parents from their traumatised sons. Knowing this makes many men choose not to address the problem or even begin the path to healing.
Circumcision Grief
In December of 2020, 15 Square analysed the stories posted on the Reddit Circumcision Grief forum.
Using these stories, it is plain to see the personal problems men are facing, men who have suffered deserve to be listened to, and believed.
Talking about circumcision harm with your parents
Carter’s decision to address this issue, along with the deeply personal facets of his experience is an inspiring act of courage.
It is reassuring to see that his mother is willing to walk this path with him, and she is understanding of the damage rather than being judgemental, dismissive, or belittling.
Whilst it can often come as a shock to parents initially, Mrs Steinhoff does understand the profound impact that this has had on Carter as he has gone into specific detail on his own experiences.
No doubt this is a very difficult conversation, but an important one for Carter’s path to healing his trauma and his relationship with his mother.
15 Square commend both of them for their willingness to share their journey in order to publicise this issue and raise awareness.
We hope this story will inspire others to be vocal about their experiences.
15 Square are collecting stories from men. If you would like to have your story heard publicly (and anonymously), please write to us.
For those who have already written in, thank you.
We have been overwhelmed by the stories that we have received as we are a very small team, but the more we receive, the more we are able to demonstrate harm.
You can see some of them here: REAL PEOPLE: REAL STORIES
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