90 Day Fiancé star Ariela stops her son’s circumcision: Standing up for her son’s rights
A really impactful scene has played out on the reality show, 90 day fiance: The other way, the mother of a newborn boy Ariela questions the father Biniyam on why their son should undergo “the cut”.
The resulting conversations on social media have opinions divided, and have laid bare the social contracts at play for who really understands why boys are circumcised, and why some feel so strongly against the USA pushing routine circumcision on male children.
The social media feed surrounding this issue is littered with adverts for circumcision clinics and pro-circumcision groups who make a massive profit from promoting this controversial and unnecessary surgery. Profit is a major barrier that stops rational discourse on circumcision.
Ariela Has Second Thoughts Before Her Son’s Circumcision :
“90 Day Fiancé is an American reality television series on TLC that follows couples who have applied for or received a K-1 visa (available uniquely to foreign fiancés of U.S. citizens) and therefore have 90 days to marry each other.” – Wikipedia
“I always knew he was going to be circumcised, but I really feel like I’m taking away a choice for him and his life, like, this is his you know, his body, he should be able to decide what he wants to do with it.”
– Ariela Weinberg
What a quote! We fully support Ariela in this view. As the child’s mother, her statement is precisely what we campaign for when promoting genital autonomy!
If you want to help support us in this mission please consider donating to our charity.
She is thinking of how her son will feel in the future, despite all of the cultural and social structures surrounding this issue. Being from a Jewish background, the social pressure is threefold, American culture, Ethiopian custom, and Jewish religious tradition.
This powerful stance shows parents around the world a really important viewpoint, that the choices you make for your children have lifelong consequences when it comes to circumcision, and it is okay to challenge tradition. There is NO undoing circumcision, so why rush into it if it feels like an uncomfortable decision.
A child has to live with his body and for some men, the effect that circumcision had on them physically and psychologically is not something they would have wanted for themselves, this is why we campaign to have this harm understood.
Many men who experience circumcision from a young age regret that they had no say over their own body.
When I was too young to even think, my religious parents made a decision for me that would impact me for the rest of my life. I am not religious anymore and am somewhat against it, and now I have this thing that was done to me for purely religious reasons without any kind of consent from me, and it pisses me off that this shit is allowed – this is standard where I live.
– Anonymous
re: I’ve felt your pain, as have many other men who came to this realization.
You can find more stories like this at Your Whole Baby, Men Do Complain, Over on Reddit, and we have our own Anonymous archive.
Men have taken their lives from the harm the procedure caused them. Ariela’s concerns are legitimate.
“I don’t want him to hate me when he is older, because he thinks that I mutilated him”
– Ariela Weinberg
“This is how it’s done, so I don’t know why she is stressed.”
– Biniyam Shibre
This can lead to a serious rift between each parent and their children, and whilst it isn’t always the case, some relationships are destroyed forever. Allowing children to make their own choices is a fundamental belief that we have at 15 Square. Unsurprisingly, most children allowed to grow up intact choose not to have the procedure.
This is not due to the myth that the procedure is painless for babies. This idea is absurd. Rather, the so-called “benefits” are nowhere near convincing enough for people to give up their genitals to undergo a totally unnecessary surgery.
Nature knows best.
Indications that babies are in pain:
Facial expressions (grimacing, lip trembling and screaming accompany circumcision)
Limb movement (circumcisions often involve holding or clamping your baby down)
Breathing and blood pressure (circumcision often leaves boys hyperventilating
Circumcision is fairly frequently performed without anaesthetic and is completely legal.
The argument that circumcision is better so that the baby will be like the dad is a strange but common argument. There are so many parents that regret the decision that they made for their children, this is why we campaign to have parents fully informed of all the potential effects circumcision can have, no medical body recommends cutting newborn children.
If we follow the recognised path of medical treatment, circumcision on a baby for no defined medical need serves no purpose and goes against everything that the medical ethics maxim of “Do No Harm” stands for. Consent and health come first, and it is reassuring when we see people challenge outdated assumptions.
If you don’t feel comfortable subjecting your baby to circumcision but feel pressured then we urge you not to rush the decision.
Many parents do feel deep regret after seeing the pain that their children are put through.
Many boys recover and live full lives. Some don’t. Why risk it? We are always happy to hear from parents, and if you need more information feel free to contact us.
In the UK, the NHS do not perform non-therapeutic male circumcisions because no medical benefit is established.